Jane and I discussed the blog’s title, Don’t Let the Old Man In!
I nicked it from the great Clint Eastwood who came up with the phrase after being asked, aged 88, where he got the inspiration and energy to make yet another film. His response? “I just get up every morning and go out. And I don’t let the old man in.”
“What about the old woman?” cried my beloved. All I could reply was, “Sorry, Jane… but Clint simply didn’t cater for you.”
As the years advance, we get increasingly fragile, and it becomes ever more sensible to heed the sage advice of billionaire Mike Bloomberg, who declared that after the age of 70 there’s one thing we should always hold on to tightly – bannisters.
Jane and I are probably world-class experts when it comes to confronting the hazards of long-distance walking in the UK. In light of this, we’ve made several demands of our mapping team: no vast hills; no miles of plough; no crawling along untended, overgrown tracks that have been ignored by councils for a generation; and then, totally essential, no winding, minor roads, which are Russian roulette – all it takes is one texting loony and it’s “Good night, sweet prince” for both of us (and dog Moses). Oh, and please ensure we don’t get lost.
The team rarely listen to a word we say, but fingers crossed.
Training for ZANE
We exercise at the gym three times each week. I know gyms are a genteel horror story to many readers but each to their own medicine. Of course, age and decrepitude get us all in the end, but I am led to believe that rigorous exercise pushes away the decay for as long as possible.
The walks are part of our lives, and we totter along to bring relief to those in Zimbabwe who face old age, despair and ruined lives through no fault of their own.
It’s more than 20 years since I founded Zimbabwe A National Emergency – ZANE. The poverty experienced in Zimbabwe, a country with no NHS or functioning social services, is simply terrible: poverty anywhere in the UK or the so-called “first world” is one thing; poverty in Zimbabwe is on another planet entirely.
As ever, I thank our driver and friend Richard Moyle for his good nature, great tolerance and for looking after us with great kindness. Our cartoonist Lee Fearnley is a joy to work with.
And, of course, heartfelt thanks to our loyal supporters who sponsor us, walk with us, right royally feed us, give us beds and accommodation, and encourage us as we plod along.
Please enjoy the walk commentary remembering that I write for fun on my five favourite subjects: sex, money, religion, death and politics. If you don’t agree with me, then that’s fine, but kindness, tolerance and humour are all. I am persuaded by anxious types to avoid “woo-woo” subjects that can divide families and communities as happened in the bitter Civil War between Cromwell’s Parliamentarians and Charles I’s Royalists (the joys of Brexit anyone?) My views on Gaza, “transgenderism” and “Black Lives Matter” are to me no more than common sense but are regarded by my scaredy-cat colleagues and close friends as topics – to mix the animal metaphors – that might frighten the horses. However, if you would like to read them, send an email!
Please note that the views expressed are mine and mine alone and don’t represent the views of the staff or trustees of ZANE or CEF.
I read voraciously and magpie ideas for the commentary from any medium with an original pulse. My particular thanks to Miles Morland, The Spectator, Tim Binder, Rabbi Jonathan Sacks and Michael Bates.
We never mention our hosts’ names. Suffice it to say how much we appreciate the warm welcomes and hospitality.
Shock and Release
As we pack I hear that the wife of our close friends has died. We all knew her death was imminent because her personality had long since been shredded by the relentless claws of dementia. But the fact her death was a release doesn’t stop it being a shock. When the scenery on the stage is suddenly wrenched away we are often left bumping into the furniture.